Life After the Melancholy
by Earl Chapwin
Summary: Aki is the famed son of Haruhi Suzumiya and Kyon. He knows nothing of the history his parents have together, but through mishaps and mayhem, he slowly finds the truth. Rated for language and summary will slowly change with each chapter posted.
1. Aliens, Time Travelers, Espers

_A/N: I love Future fics, and I decided to take a crack at it._

_However, unlike the other future fics on here, this is like set when Kyon and Haruhi are like... forty... maybe. I really didn't calculate on it too much, but they aren't like in their 20's or whatever. The purpose of that is because this is supposedly not actually focused on them... haha!_

_I remember reading this fic about how Kyon's parents were exactly like how Haruhi and himself are today, and I kinda took inspiration on that. But, I don't exaclty know where this fic will truly end up._

_Oh and, PS: This is told in an OC's POV._

* * *

**Aliens, Time Travelers, Espers  
**

Have you ever believed in the tooth fairy? To tell you the truth, this is quite a ridiculous question indeed. I mean, no one ever asks that question in this era anymore. But, if you happened to ask me if I ever believed in a lady that probably worked forever without a wink of sleep, giving money in return to bones from our jaws, I could calmly say: I suppose so. I mean, a being that gives you money over what happens naturally over the course of my life is something that everyone should look up to.

However, I would drown out that statement with the utmost sarcasm. Of course the tooth fairy isn't real. That's like saying Santa Claus is real as well. Which through both my father, my mother, older twin sisters, and my best friend all agree that they have never believed in him.

Well, I guess I _did_ believe in the tooth fairy and Santa at one point. I mean, when I found presents under that Christimas tree, and got the one thing I wanted (N64), I couldn't help but jump in glee. And during the time I found a quarter under the cold side of my pillow. That was pretty awesome.

But, around the time I was 5, I began to understand a little bit of my surroundings. My curiosity got the best of me, as I saw my family wrap up presents (thinking I was asleep), and finding them the next day hidden deep inside a closet. It's not that I hated my parents for not telling me the truth. In fact, somewhere deep in my 5 year old heart, I may actually wanted to keep believing in Santa. It's just that I wish they would have tried a bit harder to hide the gifts, ya know?

And with that knowledge, I decided to do a small experiment. That is, to test the belief if the tooth fairy was real as well. Sooner or later, my next baby tooth came out. I naturally put it under my pillow and went to sleep the moment night fell on that same day. But, instead of actually sleeping, I just… you know, faked it. Though, now that I think about it, I really am bad at faking a lot of things, that's besides the point. Around the moment my brain began to commit seppuku for giving it's all to stay concience, I felt a very hard and uncomfortable dent at the middle of the pillow. It didn't take me long to figure out that hand belonged to my mother.

Bingo. That's how I came to the conclusion that the tooth fairy is indeed a myth. Told to little kids to get their hopes up at getting rich at a young age. Oh that reminds me, you should check out Darkness Falls, that movie takes the whole tooth-fairy thing, and flops that around. But I digress.

What really got me was what happened moments after I found my answer.

As my mother pulled her hand out of my pillow and sticking in a quarter in it's place, I heard another pair of feet walking into my room. From just the sound, I knew it came towards my mother

"Haruhi,"

I instantly recognized this very mild-mannered voice.

"Should we really keep him from knowing the truth?"

It was my father's.

My mother made a _'hmph'_ sound.

"Are you serious Kyon? Of course we have to do this, until he naturally grows out of it!"

Kyon? Is that seriously your name dad?

"Yeah but, what if he doesn't grow out of it?"

"Like hell he won't. Kids grow up, and learn that some things are impossible to come true!"

My father snorted.

"What?"

"What was what?"

"That snort."

"You know."

"Know what?"

My father silently breathed in deeply, before exhaling it into the atmosphere.

"So you're saying that kids eventually grow out of things that are proved to not exist into this world, am I correct?"

"Correct."

My father giggled.

"Kyon!"

My mother gave him a quick punch, before he settled down.

"You didn't give up."

"Huh?"

"I said, _you_ didn't give up."

My mother sighed quietly.

"On _what_, Kyon?"

I heard my dad walk towards the doorway before saying these five words:

"Aliens, time travelers, and espers."

* * *

_A/N: To tell you the truth, I may not expand on this... but that's because I'm to lazy to think of ideas._


	2. Welcome to North High

**A/N: **_I know this might be some type of time paradox, but whatever. Despite the fact that the TMHS series were written in this modern era, I'd also like you to consider that this fanfic is based on this modern era. So, basically Kyon and Haruhi met each other in the 1960's... but I don't like that. So just understand this small paradox, and everything will be just fine!_

_I tried to make the narrator as much of himself as possible, while retaining a bit of Kyon-likeness. I also tried to make him a little bit more straightforward, but I guess that'll show in later chapters.  
_

* * *

**Welcome to North High  
**

_"Aliens, Time Travelers, and Espers."_

Those words were constantly spinning in my head like a broken record. My life changed completely. I've never heard what an Alien was, nonetheless a Time Traveler and an Esper. Could they have been an amazing circus group? Or maybe they were some sort of band? But wait, that's kind of long for a name. Oh I got it, it must be a kind of video game… Wait, my mother isn't into that kind of stuff. Oh, come on think!

Soon enough, I found what they were through various sources (school, television, etc..), and it all fascinated me (but damn, was I way off on my first guesses). The ability to warp through time, and change history or the future as we know. To be an extra-terrestrial being from another planet… no, another galaxy! And an Esper to read people's minds, use telepathy, and numerous paranormal abilities! That would be the best! I'd sell half my soul to the devil to gain any of that!

Or actually, maybe I could live in a fantasy world… YEAH! Where various mystical beings are all living amongst us, and human stupidity is to high to know. But then, I find out one day that an all out war is going to break out between the light and dark side of the beings, and I am the only one that could prevent the whole world from knowing. Oh god, that would be so cool!

But if that doesn't work, then how about this: One day some sort of mystical power awakens inside of me, and I become some sort of prodigy. Where various sorcerers send me to the past in order to undo the evil that is which to come. I could use my courage, wits, and intelligence to out smart the heavily-overpowered hostiles, and save the world! Use my spells and psychic abilities to lead my own army!

Maybe if that doesn't work, how about this: What I was some kind of normal high school boy, who meets a girl. She fantasizes about how the whole world should have all those mystical and strange things happening every day, and introduces herself as having "no interest in humans"_. _And I am somehow unwrapped in her unusual attempt to make the world fun and interesting, and I quickly find that I am experiencing the life she always dreamed. But she can never know. God, that would just enlighten my soul!

However, _real _life is shockingly cruel… The people who transferred in my class were nothing of interest, maybe they could speak a different language or two, but that's about it. I've never saw a UFO, or some sort of big telepathic fight in my backyard. Going to places where there are rumors of ghosts and demons, only to find nothing but cobwebs and dust. Staring for 3 hours at my aluminum spoon didn't make it bend backwards, and practicing for days on hand signs to make jutsus did nothing but make me look like a fool.

I began to stop living in such a fantasy world. Where nothing but pedestrians and animals roam the cities. I wouldn't be lying if I wasn't depressed. The laws of physics just had to be written so carefully, and us(universe) can do nothing but obey. My anime otaku-ness slowly disintegrated into the atmosphere, my lust for paranormal T.V shows were quickly dismantled, and being in the park every day just to look out for some sort of strange thing to happen was nothing more than a memory. I finally convinced myself that it was impossible.

After Junior High, I fully gave up that fantasy dream of mine and fully solidified myself to reality. Nothing happened in my last year in Junior High, despite my final attemps and wishes. It was like I was a little boy eating an ice-cream cone, and a man ran up to me and smashed that into my face; I was border lining emo. We haven't done anything major about global warming, none the less travel farther than the moon. I suppose it will take some time for us to travel to Gliese 581 d, when the world is engulfed by our sun.

But I can't help but feel, that somehow I'm… never mind.

I signed up for the same High School my father did some years ago. And crap, did I regret it. The school was on top a long, steep, and very depressing hill. I might as well be climbing a mountain to school. I'd become so hot during spring that I'd feel like taking 3 baths once I reached the peak of it, plus the fact that global warming was now taking it's toll onto this city is just too depressing. I would always complain to this in front of my parents, and the fact that I had to do this for 3 years only strengthened my argument. But, my older sisters were attending as seniors, and my mother can be very _persuasive_.

I'm the type of person that cannot get any sleep when tomorrow is going to be the first day of school. I just think anxiety gets the best of me, and only being able to sleep for 30 minutes every now and then during my 8-hour-sleep-span left me depressed and tired. Not even my good friend, who was waiting outside for me to hurry the hell up, could even cheer me up. I guess it was the fact that he was just as depressed as I was.

I was never really against girls in sailor uniforms, but seriously, the boys wearing blazers? Come on Principal, you may have a fetish for the whole sailor thing, but cut the males some slack. At least take remove the jacket, I can't even begin to explain how stupid it is to wear two pieces of torso-clothing during a hot season.

After about an infinity or so, the entrance ceremony came to a close.

"That speech wasn't boring _at all_!"

"I know yeah."

People with their "journey to a better future" faces on exited the unusually large auditorium and headed for their classes. I, along with my friend, various students from my middle school, and some new faces entered class 1-5.

Our teacher introduced himself, but instead of calling by his surname, he preferred to be called Taniguchi-sensei. Strange. He said that he was a student here some years ago, and said that very little has changed except for some new buildings and refurbished areas. He goes on to say that he was a real playboy in his younger days and how he was always able to pick up dates and yadie-yadie-yada. Around the time I was thinking about writing a novel about the longest introduction speech ever said in the known world, he suddenly blurts out:

"Alright, let's introduce ourselves!"

Sigh.

Strangely enough, I was the last one to go. Taniguchi-sensei kept eyeing me the whole time, as if he was trying to _imply _something. After I finished my well thought out, fairly decent speech, there was a sort of reassuring smile plastered upon his face before it quickly faded away to a neutral tone.

The lunch bell rang, and damn was I hungry. That's what I get for skipping out on breakfast. I got up and started heading toward the class door, finding that having lunch in the cafeteria would be best (and the fact that my friend said that he would meet me there). But, I was immediately stopped just as my hand slid open the door.

"Can you come over here a second?"

I turned around, to find that the voice belonged to Taniguchi-sensei.

"Come on, let's chat a little."

He waved his hand, telling me to come.

Why would he want me to chat with me? Especially on the first day.

However, my feet was dragged to him, as if he had some sort of gravitational pull. Before long, I found myself sitting directly in front of him.

There was a long, and very unnecessary pause.

"So…"

Quit wasting my lunch time!

I played around with my hands, feeling a bit uncomfortable in my position. There were a few students having their lunches in here, so I wasn't completely afraid of this guy if he attempted to rape me or something. I took a little bit of martial arts, so I probably could handle him alone anyway.

"Are you by any chance, Kyon's son?"

Kyon? I thought only my mother called him that. Everyone else calls him by his normal first name.

I only nodded.

He made a hearty-laughed before tussling my hair around.

"Haha no doubt about it! Your facial expressions, and your voice resemble him!"

But that's where the compliments stopped. He looked at me with eyes filled with curiosity. Was he examining me? What, do I have a zit on my forehead…?

…

Okay… now you're just creeping me out.

"Dark Chocolate hair… topaz colored eyes…"

He muttered out such words that I would hear from some sort of novel.

"Don't tell me…"

Then about 2.3432221 seconds later, he burst into laughter again, holding his stomach while gripping on the side of the desk so he won't fall off. God, he was making such a ruckus. The students were beginning to notice, and decided to leave. How embarrassing.

After Taniguchi-sensei caught his breath, he looked up at me with another bright smile.

"Is your mother by any chance Haruhi Suzumiya?"

"Y-"

But before I could finish, he just laughed once more and a few tears began to run down his cheek. Man, I fail to see the funny side of this. My mother _is_ attractive, and I looked at her picture in college, she actually looks pretty cute.

Taniguchi-sensei wiped his eyes and smeared the excess tears onto his pants before shaking his head from left to right. The kind of way you would do when you are clearly unimpressed with something.

"Oh Kyon, what have you done."

"Huh?"

I wonder what he's talking about.

"No doubt about it, you truly are Haruhi Suzumiya's son! Your eyes and hair color is nothing short of elegant."

"Thanks…?"

"God I can't… did Kyon really…? Oh my god…"

I sighed heavily. Taniguchi-sensei is obviously overly-excited, and he's going fan boy over my parents. How sad.

"Okay sensei, you really aren't making any sense."

"I told your father to stay away."

He goes on to shaking his head.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, no it's nothing…"

I swear I heard him mutter, "_At least she gave birth to a normal child"_.

"Why is it so strange that my father married my mother?"

I know for a fact that my dad proposed to her. My mother wouldn't stop bragging about it when I was a kid. She was always like: Kyon, how long have you loved me, or, did you ever have dreams of me? Bleh! That's so lame.

"Well…"

Taniguchi-sensei scratched his chin.

"…your parents met when they were freshmen at this school."

"Oh really?"

I asked, however, I was very aware that they met during high school.

"Ya really. But, I warned him man. Why doesn't he ever listen to me!"

For some reason, I get the feeling that nearly everyone on this planet never listens to this guy.

"Wait, why did you want my dad to avoid my mom?"

He smirked slightly.

"You could say that your mother was… abnormal."

I coughed, but that was only from the mucus stuck inside my chest.

"You alright there buddy?"

"Yeah, just continue on."

"Anyway, she had the most outrageous introduction!"

By introduction, I suppose he meant the thing we did in his class.

"What'd she say."

Taniguchi-sensei quickly stands up, with a completely blank expression, but his stare was intense.

"_My name is Haruhi Suzumiya from East Junior High. I have no interest in humans. If you are an alien, time traveler, or an Esper please come see me. That is all._"

And then he looked around, gazing across the empty classroom, before looking at me (I had my eyes widened, and my mouth slightly open) and then sitting down.

Taniguchi-sensei's cold stare turned into his normal smile.

"Strange huh?"

"Very."

"Kinda funny actually…"

"Hm? What is?"

"We're sitting at the same spot -"

And at that time, the signal for lunch to end has come. A rush of students came in a few moments later, and the class was soon occupied. I sat back down my seat, but my back was being pocked by a led-tipped pencil.

"Where the hell were you?!"

Ouch… don't dig that pencil in so deep! I heard that led in your body would kill you!

"At your mom's house."

This only cause him to lightly push in more. Despite the fact that it was _lightly_ pushed in, it still made a significant mark on my back. Temporarily of course.

After school came to an end, I packed up my things and headed out, trailing my friend by a few steps behind. I told my sisters that I would not want to walk home with them, and they both gleefully accept. They both have this thing about going to the mall every single day after school with their boyfriends, and does it put a strain on my parent's wallets. I never found the need to buy a whole lot of things, except if I know it'll please me for at least 3 months minimum.

As I came home, I dropped my bag near the door, and staggered towards my bedroom. I basically free fell on top of it, while I took off my jacket and tie. I completely sprawled my whole body on top the bed, with my front side up and my hand behind the back of my head.

"Aliens… time travelers… espers…"

Such were my thoughts as I quickly drifted away to sleep. Catching up on the missed hours last night.

* * *

**A/N: **_God, I hate my OC._


	3. Lunch is FTL

_A/N: This was such a weird chapter to write. I was listening to a whole lot of Smashing Pumpkins while writing this chapter, and I felt a bit angst. And damn it, this chapter had to make this rating T now!_

_The story is just a bunch of one-shots on the regular lunches that my character has. _

_PS: Big thanks to Misaki for proof reading.  
_

* * *

**Lunch is for the Lose  
**

The next day, it was lunch by now, and again I was called upon to have another useless chat with my teacher.

"I see. Your father doesn't exactly remember me?"

I think he didn't want to remember you.

"Well, he didn't exactly say that. He said his high school life was quite something and that too much happened for him to remember it all."

In fact, he made a strange simile that half his freshman year could have been converted into a 14 episode anime or 3 light novels. Though, I would like to think this was just an over-exaggeration.

"Psh, no kidding! He did the impossible! He was able to get the girl that nobody could get!"

I plucked away at the bones in my fish before putting it into my mouth; I made sure to bring a bento today. I remember waking up last night, and I nearly collapsed to do fatigue or some other medical term for having sore muscles.

"You make it sound like my mother was some sort of emo-loner. Was she unapproachable?"

"No I'm not. Every boy that asked her out in middle school was always accepted, she never turned them down. Therefore, after Junior High, everyone thought it was best to just stay away from her. And all the students that did fancy her, were always warned."

From that statement alone, Taniguchi-sensei probably went to the same Junior High as my mom.

"I should know, I was in her class for 3 years in Junior High!"

My intuition must come from my dad.

I played around my last boiled egg with my chop sticks, picking it up then throwing it into the air and catching it before it goes back into the box. It was the sort of thing people would do when they're bored out of their minds, or 4 years of age and under.

"The longest was probably around a week, while the quickest was about 5 minutes."

I raised a brow. Sensei was talking as if this was from experience.

Taniguchi-sensei merely chuckled at my expression before shaking his head from left to right.

"Your dad gave me the same look when I told him this."

Oh, so you told my dad this too?

He made a soft smile.

"I was the one with the least. She must have seen through me or something. I don't blame her, I was a bit of a show-off when I was in my youth. The real world really changed me, I guess that's why I wanted to become a teacher,"

What? To look at younger ladies because you couldn't get any during your time?

"To teach the youth of mankind."

He rested his cheek on his palm, and looked out towards the translucent windows.

"I have the single most important job in the world, yet I get paid with one of the worst human services have to offer. But, I suppose impacting children like you is a reward on it's own."

His lips slightly pouted, and his eyes narrowed down to a size of a single grain of sand.

"We live our lives longing for change, but are to ignorant to realize we are the only ones with the power to do so. And if we do nothing, it'll just stay the same."

He slowly moves his face towards me in a robotic fashion.

"Your mother taught me that. Not directly, but in a fashion that was unconventional. You see, your mother did a lot of strange things for reasons I knew but didn't bother to understand why."

"It was only because she wanted the world to change. She wanted the world to become something more than just going to school, getting to college, getting a good job, getting a nice house on the beach, then buying goods, then paying them off to only buy more goods, and to die and hope you lived a good life to go to heaven. She wanted to make life much more than that; she wanted life to be interesting. I envied that, and that's what drove me to come here."

He seriously toned face turned into a sinister grin.

"And some of these freshmen girls are really cute."

I couldn't help but smile. He becomes so deep in a matter of seconds, but reverts back in a fraction.

--

Given that Taniguchi-sensei didn't always invite me to have a chat with him, I usually ate lunch in the lunch room. Also given the fact that I didn't want people to think that I was a loner, I usually ate with my friend Nakagawa whom I've known since the beginning of time (and was also with me during the first day of school), and Fujiwara from East Junior High who had a seat near me in class.

I would consider these two as big playboys. They usually blew me off for some girl, and I've never once told me opinion on who they are dating. I guess it's because I never truly cared. They were notorious for being the ones that ends up cheating, resulting in break up. But, after their fake mourning and apologizes, their girlfriend's end up back together. Rinse, and repeat.

A typical day was this:

"Get the fuck away from me!"

"No baby, please -"

"SHUT UP! Dammit! I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT! YOU WERE JUST PLAYING ME!"

"N-No! It's not like that! She was just a friend -"

"JUST A FRIEND!? YOU WERE KISSING HER!"

"Ah-"

"NO! It's over between us. I don't ever want to see your fucking face again!"

"No, Karin, wait -"

Then a loud, sharp smacking sound was heard.

Now let me tell you, this happened during lunch at the cafeteria. Our school is the type where every single grade has lunch all together. Now, a lot of students eat in the cafe, and quite a few like to hang out in the hallway where the love-fights are usually occurring. So I think it's safe to say that everyone witnessed, or at least heard, what was going on.

"Ow…"

Did I mention that this happened right in the middle of a very loud roar of conversations started by every click? And did I mention the fights end up drowning them out?

A figure emerging from the crowds with a bright hand mark on his cheek. It staggered over to us, and sat down.

"/_**I'm** all **out** of **love** _

_**I'm** so **lost** without **you**_

_**I** knew** you** were **right**/"_

"Dude, will you stop singing?"

I lightly rolled my eyes. That was actually pretty decent you know?

And again, that was typical. So my lunches are either filled with the annoying side of young love, or I'm gossiping with my teacher about my parents. What a pain. Right now, I'm starting to regret being alive.

--

"Hey Fujiwara, I heard you and Karin broke it off."

Nakawara said bluntly while poking around at his 1st class bento.

"Psh, that bitch is crazy."

If I know one thing, all the girls are either obnoxious/mean/bitchy/crazy. There's not much different between a pretty girl and a not so pretty girl, but both are very hard to approach at all. Girls don't have complex minds, just complex hearts.

"Yeah… speaking of which, I heard you and Nekomi had a big fight the other day."

"Mmm. She said that I would have to quit football or I can't date her anymore."

He lifted up right hand, which was wrapped around that bandage-wrap thing (I really don't know what it's called). From the what I observed, I'm just assuming her sprained it. It's his fault, American Football is deadly.

"So you gonna quit?"

I asked while slicing half of my boiled egg, knowing full well what his answer was going to be.

He made some kind of snort noise, it was actually kind of a ridiculous sound.

"You _must_ be high."

I just shook my head.

"So what, you gonna break up with her?"

He leaned back on his chair and pulled his arms behind his head.

"Probably. She's a bit clingy ya know?"

I nodded.

"Why don't you get a girl?"

Fujiwara asks abruptly.

I knew he was going to ask sooner or later. Among the 3 of us, I've had the least amount of fans(?) adoring me.

I downed all of my orange juice before answering.

"Because -"

"Because he basically dated every girl in his middle school."

How rude to cut me off Nakagawa. And don't you mean _our_ middle school?

"So? He can pick up the girl's from East Junior High."

I'd rather not.

"It's because he knows how to pick his ladies!"

Nakagawa gave me a friendly smack on the back.

"This guy was smoking popular."

Fujiwara moved his face closer.

"Then what the hell happened?"

"Eh…"

Nakagawa goes to shrugging his shoulders.

"He started to become more normal."

Fujiwara moved his head back as if he was surprised. I was expecting him to question again, but he just ended up going back to his still-full bento.

--

"So how come you were surprised by me being Kyon's son?"

Naturally, I think he would know when his friend marries the impossible-to-approach-because-she's-a-complete-crazy girl. Also, it kinda felt weird calling my dad that.

"Uh."

That sounded like he was expecting this question.

"It's because we sort of went our separate ways during college."

He scratched his cheek while smiling, as if he was embarrassed.

"You'd be surprised, I was actually a smart student. I was able to make it to Tokyo U. Not entirely sure where your father ended up, but I'm going to assume he was with Haruhi. The day those two had their first chat, they became inseparable."

"Really?"

Taniguchi-sensei pouted his lips, and moved his eyes into the sky. Did something more interesting catch his eye?

"Well, maybe the first chat didn't go so well between them… I guess he was the very first one that could make some decent conversation with her."

I bet my dad planned out everything he said.

"Oh, speaking of your father, what job does he have?"

I think the sky draws you when your in need of thought. It seems as if everyone looks up when they're trying to think.

"I think he's some Philosopher or something. He has all these books on Sigmund Freud, and yeah."

"Really? That's sort of surprising."

I opened my mouth, about to mutter out the word _why_, but I stopped. I really didn't care about my dad's personal life when he was my age.

Taniguchi-sensei, seeing that I wasn't going to reply, asked another question.

"So what about your mom? What does she do?"

"She's a kindergarden teacher."

Answering this was much easier, as I had her when I was at that age.

"By any chance do you know why?"

"Mmm… no."

But actually, I think I may have a definitive reason. From the information given from Taniguchi-sensei, she wanted life to become more interesting. And through my past experience, Kindergarten has gotten to one of the most interesting experiences I've had in my life. I suppose that's what my mother wanted, and every year, it would most likely be different. Though, this is just through what my knowledge tells me and nothing more than just a hypothesis.

My parents always talked about the past, but it was always just strange stuff. Like about this girl named Sasaki, I really didn't know how that played out. My mom always questioned about her dreams and asked if my dad remember any of them. But, he just ends up dodging the question with a kiss or talking about how my high school life has been. I've heard a saying: dream are meant to have, not to tell. How awkward would it be if someone came up to you and said, "Hey, I had you in my dream."

--

It was strange, on this lunch period, we all decided on eating lunch in class.

"It's official, we broke up."

"Ditto man."

Both of their faces pointed towards me. Both of which having very large eyes, and there head heavily tilted to the side. It was sort of how Stewie would do to Brian if he was trying to make a lie.

I slightly moved my head back. Were they trying to intimidate me?

Nakagawa sighed, thus breaking the double stare.

"Well… what about the girls you cheating them on?"

This only caused a double sigh from both of them, and it ended with Fujiwara putting his head on the table.

"They got boyfriends."

"They said we were jerks…"

I'm not surprised.

But, this whole atmosphere is really uncomfortable. Normally, these young men are always enthusiastic and so laid back, but now they just look like depressed has-beens.

"Come on. There's still more fish in the sea."

"That statement seems so clichéd coming from you."

Fujiwara mumbled, still having his head down.

"Yeah, why don't you try and get a girl? Then maybe we'll have a boost of confidence!"

Both of them shot up in astonishment and looked at each other.

"YEAH!"

They both yelled simultaneously, causing the many students around us to take a glimpse at what's happening. Right now, I'm starting to feel that having 3 guys on the same table always yelling out stuff is weird. I know it's odd for guys to share tables with each other, but it didn't once cross my mind until now.

"Aki, if you get a girl, I swear I will never ever cheat on anyone in my life!"

What the hell? I don't really care on whether or not you cheat on a girl.

"What the hell are you talking abo-"

"Yes, I will also stop cheating on girls."

No way. Not you too Nakagawa!

"But on one occasion, we get to choose the girl!"

"Yeah, and if you can't get her, you have to um…"

"-watch 2 girls 1 cup."

"Aww dude that's nasty. But I like it!"

What the hell is 2 girls 1 cup? What the hell is so nasty about it? And I don't remember how this conversation even got to this point!

"Guys, I really don't want to though."

"What, are you a chicken?"

"No I'm -

"-a chicken!"

"It's jus-"

"-CHICKEN!"

"Bawk, bawk, bawk."

Nakagawa cocked his hands under his armpits and began to flap his elbows as if he was poultry.

"Guys listen -"

"-chicken!"

"B-"

"SH!"

"N-"

"CHICKEN!"

"Can you jus-"

"DA!"

"Will you-"

"KA!"

"Stop for one sec-"

"DABA!"

"YOUR ACTING LIKE A CHIL-"

"-CHICKEN!!"

God this is argument is like and endless turd coming out of my ass, like an endless rope. It's like I'm just sitting there, having to constantly attempt to empty my ass out, but it never stops! IT'S NOT GOING TO STOP! WHEN'S IT GOING TO STOP!?

…

"So deal?"

I sighed heavily.

"Yeah. Deal."

--

"Alright! I found the best candidate."

What? Don't tell me you did auditions.

"Now Aki, me and Fujiwara went through the trouble of checking out every girl in this whole school."

He went to go and pull out what seems like the school's year book from last year from his bag.

"Since we know most of the school's current facility, it was easy to judge onto who would be best for you."

"You know that we have connections to nearly all Junior and Seniors over here right?"

I just nodded. But to be honest, I really didn't know.

"However, when we spotted all the seniors and juniors, they were all to good for you. So, we decided to hit up the freshmen hottie list!"

"After many hours of searching,"

I think the correct term is: stalking.

"We have found the perfect candidate!"

"Who?"

Fujiwara looks over at Nakagawa who flashes a smile before looking back at me. He nudges his chin over to the left, near the windows. There was a group of 4 girls standing in a circle and another in the middle. My only guess was that she was the leader.

"Who?"

"Guess."

My eyesbrows knotted, my eyes narrowed, and my lips pouted to make it seem as if I was actually thinking hard. In actuality however, I just did it for show.

"Just tell me."

Both of them go on to look back at the girls before two words escaped their dry lips:

"Misaki Asahina."

The name alone left me with my eyes slightly widened.

"Hold up. Why her?"

"Because,"

Fujiwara begins, still staring at the group of girls.

"You can't win her."

Whoa. That seems fair.

Fujiwara's face faces towards me with me a sinister smile.

"Remember what we agreed on Aki; if you lose…"

Fujiwara admittedly stops. He leans over at a dazed Nakagawa and whispers in a low hush,

"What was it we were going to make him do?"

Nakagawa does a sort of snapping effect with his neck, like a twitch. Seeming to come back Earth, he replies.

"Oh right."

Fujiwara turns back to me.

"Y-Yeah… you have to um, do _that_."

"Okay okay. Just give me a month then."

"Why? Go and ask her out right now!"

"No."

"Pff, wuss. But I don't blame you if you suddenly just fail."

He leans his head back.

"Misaki is the perfect girl! Her smile, her skin tone, her boobs, even her personality! Nothing short of first-class!"

Even after ignoring Fujiwara's annoying remarks, Misaki Asahina was definitely someone worth trying to get in a relationship with.

First of all, she was very pretty. She always gave off a pulse of joy and sunshine by just standing near her. Second, Fujiwara's description of her was definitely down to the point. Her personality was very appealing, and everyone looked up to her as a model. However, when boys were attempting to ask her out on a date or something, they would always back off at the last minute. Even seniors had their knees buckling. Third, she answered every question with such completeness, that you would wonder why she's even in our grade. School's only started a week ago, and she's quickly becoming a Hannah Montana.

She is definitely a choice that would elude any male; obviously this candidate was chosen because our two heroes Nakagawa and Fujiwara had a hill too steep for them to climb. Wait, what am I saying? That hill is probably much higher for me!

There's no way I was going to win this.

Oh and by the way, Aki would be me. My kindergarten teacher first called me that. We had this dumb thing where during our birthday, we were supposed to be called by the season we were born in. My mother decided to use that longer than expected, and it soon ran through the whole entire class, then the rest of my life. From that day on, my nickname was Aki. Dammit, that's what I get for having my mother as my kindergarten teacher!

After getting home, I suddenly heard a phone call which was picked up by my father. He's been home a lot lately.

He quickly moved into the master room, and closed it. I know I've been told never to listen into people's conversations even if it's practically next to you, but what's he hiding?

"_Hello?… _

"_Who's this…?"_

"_Koizumi?! "_

"_Yeah it's been a while."_

"_I think 13 years."_

"_Where hell did you go?"_

"_You have a kid now?"_

"_What? You just found out?"_

"_That doesn't make any sense, she's 16 and you just found out?"_

"…_Why can't you tell me now?"_

"…"

"_Fine. You and everyone else always want to meet somewhere instead of telling me when you already have the chance."_

"_Um, maybe 12 noon."_

"_Yeah, I guess at the original Brigade spot."_

"_Y-Yeah."_

"_Okay tomorrow then."_

And the talking stopped.

What, does no one say 'good-bye' anymore?

I quickly dallied my way towards my room, hoping that my dad didn't realize I just over heard him. I quickly pulled out my cell phone and dialed a number on my contacts.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, let's go to the station. You know, the one near that store?"

"_Why?"_

"Because,"

I can't believe I'm going to say this.

"We're gonna spy on my dad."

* * *

_A/N: I made a lot of dumb references that people may not understand. So, I'll try and see if I can clear up some_.

_1) 2 girls and 1 cup is a shock site. I don't recommend you check it out.  
_

_2) The reference to Hannah Montana is to refer that she became popular very quickly in a short amount of time. The show sucks._

_3) The song that my character sings is: **I'm All Out of Love** by Air Supply._

_4) The term, "You must be high." Is saying that you asked a question, but is solemnly rejected because you supposedly was smoking marijuana and to dumb to know the answer beforehand.  
_

_For example:_

_"Dude, can I have 10 bucks?"_

_"Psh, you must be high!"_

_5) The Stewie and Brian I am referring to is from the American Animated television series, Family Guy._

_6) Sigmund Freud is psychiatrist who is famous for his interpretation of dreams, the unconscious mind, and sexual desires. He was a reference in the first light novel, so I decided to use him._

_Oh and, the job where Haruhi becomes a Kindergarten teacher was something I got from another fanfic. I don't know what it is called, but I give big thanks for it._


	4. Saturday Snoop

_**A/N:** Sorry this took so long. I was trying to make one of my friends write a story by threatening him, but that failed. I rejoined a private server of Ragnarok online, so that kinda kept me busy too... Haha, when I began to write the 2nd part of this chapter, I kept saying "I'm American!" Weird...  
_

_Um, yeah. Regardless of the story, I felt it being very quick, very weird, and very dialogue-lame. Hopefully in the end, it makes sense. There are moment where Aki's point of view is changed to Kyon's point of view. I didn't name when it happens, but I'm sure it's easy to point out._

_To sum it all up, this chapter is currently the most confusing and longest chapter._

* * *

**Saturday Snoop**

"Dude, Aki, I better get paid for this shit!"

"Look Fujiwara, I didn't ask you to come okay? I don't even know why you're here!"

The wind lightly passed over our way, combing our hairs to the right. He looked at me with his eyes stretched to the masses, and lips in a ridiculously overdone frown.

"…Maybe I just wanted to fit in. Ever thought of that? Huh!? That's right! You didn't!"

God.

"Aki, I think it's best if you tell us why we're here."

"Naturally."

Ah Nakagawa, that's why you are my closest friend. You stay calm enough for me to deal with.

"Because standing is for losers!"

Well… most of the time I can deal with you.

The three of us sat down a near bench as I told them.

Yesterday, I overheard my dad on the phone about some person named Koizumi. Though, this may confuse many of you as to why I decided to follow him, I shall explain:

(**Flash Back/3rd Person**)

"Daddy, where are we?" said a little boy, who goes by the nickname: Aki.

A man, probably around his 30's, made a smile and picked up Aki.

"We're at Kitaguchi Station son."

Aki just pouted.

"It's too loud!" he said, with a touch of anger and annoyance in his voice. Cupping his ears with his hands, he leaned his head towards his father's chest.

"I know. Your mother will just be a minute." he said trying to ease his stress.

As the trains stop, people quickly enter and exit. Among them was Aki's mother, Haruhi.

"Kyon!" she shouted. Quickly garnering the attention of everyone around her.

"Told you." Kyon whispers to Aki before letting him down. Aki dashes towards his mother, who quickly picks him up and swings him around. You could feel the bond between them.

Kyon makes his way towards them and gives Haruhi a small kiss on the cheek. "Welcome back."

"Just get my things," was her cold reply. Though, a small stain of pink ran across her cheeks. Kyon quickly obeys, and carry's the questionable heavy load.

Going through an overflowing crowd, they made their way to an average sized turquoise van. Kyon gently placed Haruhi's things inside. Most people would just pole-vault it into their trunk (or whatever the back of a van is called), but Haruhi was the type of girl who is an extreme perfectionist.

_If you're going to do something, do it right._

Haruhi has never said this statement. Not even once. You would think she did though, right? Of course you would. Um… right.

"The deed is done chief." Kyon said with a touch of mockery.

He moved towards the left side of the van and opened the door. He waited there for a second, before realizing his love wouldn't get in.

"Haruhi?" Kyon questioned, looking at a gazed woman with a small tear running down her cheek. His reactions were lightning as he quickly NOS-ed over and held Haruhi from behind.

"What's wrong?" he said softly into her ear, making her shoulders shutter from the warmth.

Haruhi looks over her shoulder. "Just a bit of a nostalgia factor."

She leaned her head back, blocked by Kyon's chest to keep it from going any further. "The Brigade…" she muttered out.

"I know Haruhi," Kyon said while stroking her silky dark chocolate hair. "I know."

"HEY HURRY UP!"

The sudden audible yell from the van made Kyon and Haruhi jump.

"What the hell?" questioned Aki, who was in the van with his twin sisters.

"They're taking FOREVER!!" whined Aki's sisters simultaneously.

"UGH! SHUT UP!" Aki yelled while wearing a very laughable face due to his anger.

"HOW ABOUT NO!?" was the very loud reply.

"You think we should go back?" Kyon said, combing Haruhi long silky hair with his hand.

She made a light smile, "Sure."

(**End**)

My explanation took us down to a nearby café. I sat down a table in front of them as a waiter came up to us. After our orders were taken, and our drinks brought to us, Fujiwara turned his head up and asks:

"So about this Brigade… what are your thoughts about it? Do you know why it relates to your father?"

"I think this may have been something both my parents did in the past."

Now that I think about it, 'brigade' means military unit consisting of 2-5 battalions or regiments. What the hell?

Like I said before, my dad's been home a lot lately. His mannerisms have been very strange. The way he looks at my mother weren't those eyes of lust or love, but rather, a very cautious one. It was with such care you would have thought Japan decided to hack down every single Sakura, and he held the last seed. Knowing full well what would happen if he were to lose it.

"You have the strangest metaphors…"

I just shook my head at Nakagawa's comment before continuing.

"My dad also has a habit of… disappearing."

Nakagawa just shakes his head with a goofy smile.

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation to all these mishaps you're having."

"Maybe it's best if you give examples."

I lightly sipped up the last of my iced coffee as I told them a few of my experiences. Fujiwara's expressions were in between deep thought, and understandment. Nakagawa's were a mix between boredom, surprise, and unbelief. Maybe even a splash of confusion.

I silently swayed my cup back and forth, forgetting that I had already finished it. Depressed, I rested my cheek on my palm before continuing.

"The funny thing is,"

For some reason, my lips pursed together, and my brows knuckled together.

"When my dad was gone, my mother vanished as well."

There was a moment of silence before two words escaped from their lips.

_"Closed space…"_

…

"Say what?"

"N-Nothing."

Stupid. If you're not going to say something, at least have the courtesy to not mutter it.

"So why are we out here again…? Oh right. To spy on your dad right?"

Nakagawa said, obviously trying to change the subject.

"Correct."

I quickly obliged.

"Now you see that waiter over there?"

I pointed my eyes a few tables behind them.

"You mean the brunette with a hot ponytail on?"

Weird statement, but nonetheless the correct person.

"She's one of my one of my sister's close friends."

"I'd like to tap that."

Moving on.

"She stuck a small microphone at the bottom of the table there. Can you see it?"

They both leaned slightly outwards.

"You guys see it?"

There was silence.

"Hoi."

…

"The color is black if you guys are retarded."

"Don't worry Aki…"

Nakagawa said leaning even more outward.

"We _definitely_ see black…"

What?

_"That's gotta be a thong…"_

_"Dude… yeah it is…"_

_"Is it silk…?"_

_"I don't know…"_

_"Then…"_

_"Let's just lean a bit… MORE!!"_

Crash!

What… oh my god. These people are retarded.

They quickly scrambled back onto the table with a face filled with satisfaction.

I sighed.

"Alright, I got the listening device."

Turning it on, we listened in on their conversation.

**xXx**

"Afternoon Kyon."

Koizumi flashed an acceptable smile.

"So what. After 13 years you decide to meet up with me?"

He stirred the cream inside his coffee before taking a sip of it.

"I had some business to attend to."

It was the same thing he said right before he disappeared from my life.

He crossed his fingers together and rested his chin on them.

"Can you remember what I told you before I left?"

I rested my cheek on the palm of my hand as I recalled my thoughts.

(**Another Flashback/Another 3rd Person**)

The grass was wet from the dew of the cold morning. The streets still filled with pedestrians desperately trying to get to work on time. Small cafés just opening, with one in particular that had three customers inside. A young child and two grown men.

"Morning Koizumi."

"Ah, Kyon."

There was a history between these two, as they both ordered from the menu.

"I see that you married Haruhi."

Kyon just shook his head. Itsuki you bastard, you were there!

"Daddy, I want coffee too!"

Kyon just made a hearty laugh.

"Son, you're much too young. Maybe when you're older."

The young boy just crossed his arms and pouted his lips. His eyebrows knotted and he held an intense frown. Despite the very childish behavior, it's much more mature among his other peers. Normally kids his age would cry, fuss around and make huge tantrums.

Kyon turned to Koizumi with a straight face.

"From your voice mail, it sounds serious. You sure you're not over exaggerating?"

Koizumi smiled.

"Yes Kyon, it definitely is."

Koizumi sipped the last of his drink. He ran his fingers through his bangs, pushing it up before gravity gently let it soar down.

"Our theories may have been incorrect."

Koizumi said with a touch of disappointment in his voice.

_So Ms. Asahina was correct?_ thought Kyon. Koizumi shook his head in disagreement. Could he have read his mind?

"However, we believe that all thoughts regarding Ms. Suzumiya as being the single most powerful human being very… obsolete."

"…What?"

There was a long pause. Kyon recovering from initial shock, and Itsuki thinking of what to say next.

"Three years ago Kyon. Something happened. Not bad. Not good. Just something happened."

Kyon paused for a second.

"Three years ago, as in roughly three years ago?"

"No Kyon, three years ago. On this same exact day."

_I wonder if this is the reason as to Koizumi's sudden invitation for breakfast with him. I suppose it's alright, Haruhi is doing her job at that elementary school and my daughters are at school.  
_

Kyon looked over to see a very bored young boy playing with his de-cafe latte. Kyon always wanted his kids to know that they can't have it their way, but pretending to his son coffee wouldn't hurt the world.

"Daddy," the little boy spoke. "Can we eat now? This is boring."

Kyon tussled his hair around. "Sure son."

_(7 hours later)_

"So regarding the information that was brought by your organization, Ms. Asahina's superiors, and the Integrated Thought Entity were all bogus?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

It was sunset by then. The sky turned a bright orange, blending in with what will soon to be the midnight sky. It was time for Kyon to head home. He didn't tell her that he was going to meet up with Koizumi, for the Brigade was disbanded some time ago. Inside, Kyon knew Haruhi wanted it back.

"Well, I better be going. I have some business to attend to." Itsuki said while doing a military salute.

It was always a habit of him to say that he has some sort of job or business to attend to.

"Wait! Don't you want to see Haruhi? I have daughters too you know."

Koizumi made a hearty laugh.

"Maybe some other time Kyon. I'll see you around."

Watching Koizumi drift into the sunset, Kyon felt a whole lot of hair compress against his cheek. It was his son, quietly sleeping in his arms.

"We better go, right buddy?"

Kyon whispered quietly as he made his way back home.

_(After getting home)_

"SURPRISE!"

The questionable dark room immediately lights up with confetti raining down, people yelling at the top of their lungs, and a wife emerging from the crowd.

Damn, it was a good thing I woke him up before we entered. This would have been the worst thing ever! Thought Kyon.

"And where have you two been." Haruhi said sassily, putting a hand on her hip.

"Umm… _out_."

_Shit!_ Thought Kyon. _What's the occasion? Oh crap, if this is Haruhi's birthday, I'm screwed!_

"Well, it doesn't matter. Since this special day isn't about you anyway!" Haruhi leaned over and pulled on his son's baby cheek.

"And now the birthday boy can open his presents!"

Haruhi said in a mom-ish tone. She picked up her son from Kyon's arms and kissed his forehead.

"How does it feel to be three years old?"

(**End**)

Koizumi giggled out of nowhere. He quickly calmed down after seeing my confused face.

"What was that?"

He held his hands to his lips, trying to hold in a giggle.

"It seems as if we have some eaves droppers."

What?

He nudged his chin, pointing at a table a few yards behind me. I looked behind, seeing three males listening in on what seems to be some sort of walkie talkie.

"Hm… One of them looks so familiar."

**xXx**

"Wow Aki, your dad is the most boring person I've ever met!"

"I know…"

Bill Gates made a saying: _Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room._

Now I would have thought my dad would show his true colors when chatting with what I would assume an old friend. But, that was just… painful. It must have just been a co-worker or something. Friends never talk about work all day!

"I thought your dad would have some interesting things to say. But instead, he just starts talking on and on and on about philosophy!"

Fujiwara kneaded his temple with his fingers.

"Aki I'm going home! This isn't worth my time."

Fujiwara stood up and quickly headed out.

"Oh ah…"

My attention was diverted to Nakagawa, who was looking at his watch.

"Looks like I got football practice. I'll see you later kay?"

And with that, he left. Leaving me to pay the bill.

God dammit.

**xXx**

Seeing two of them leave, they must have been uninterested in what I had to say. I'm glad this generation of children are normal.

"They didn't hear us."

I turned my head back.

"There's a microphone right above your thigh. I noticed how our waiter took such a long time to take our order, and she also fidgeted with the bottom of the table."

"What do you mean they didn't hear us? You blocked it out or something?"

He put a finger to his chin and looked up at the ceiling.

"Mmm, more or less. I slightly altered the information fed through the mic into something a bit more… how should I say, boring?"

For a moment, I thought that was a valid excuse. However, I remembered the Koizumi was not an alien, therefore he could never alter reality. His esper powers are limited to closed space, and closed spaces only.

"A lot has happened in 13 years Kyon."

Koizumi's eye lash fluttered on his cheeks as he fidgeted around his thumps on his coffee mug.

"A lot."

**xXx**

With my wallet thinned and my Saturday wasted, I made the depressed walk home. My pants vibrated for a moment. I sifted through my pockets to find the name 'Mom' on my cellphone. Going near a quiet corner, I answered.

"Uh… hello?"

_"Aki, can you bring some groceries home?"_

"Uh…"

I patted down my pants.

"I kind of don't have a pen to write it down though."

_"Don't worry, it's a small list."_

"Okay."

As she told me, I attempted memorization by constantly repeating it in my head until my inner-thought's jaw became strained.

"So like 2 lbs of tuna, some bread, and… What was that again?"

_"Honey."_

"Yes?"

"No, I mean **honey**."

"Ah, haha, okay I got it."

_"Please be sure you get those, we won't have anything else to eat."_

"Don't worry mom, you can count on me."

_"Okay. Be back by 8 okay?"_

"Yeah sure mom."

_"I love you."_

"Love you too mom."

_"Bye."_

"Bye."

Hanging up, I prompted to walk back the path of depression. Oh this day is going really great. You know, I really have to wonder. Why didn't mom ask dad? I mean, he's also out, doing his little philosophy bullshit.

After buying the needed goods, I, once again(!), must walk the pathway of depression.

You know, I've noticed something. Many families always have this policy on "keeping things clean". Well, particularly the mothers, but that's besides the point. They always have the habit of just cleaning and cleaning, and when you mess that up, you get really bad lectures. Now, I for one find this completely legitimate. However, I would like to state this as completely counter-productive and families are completely blind by the real threat.

Security. You're house can be as clean as possible, but without security, it's just wasted effort.

Now you're probably asking yourselves: Why the hell are you telling me this? Well, to put it bluntly, something like this happened. No, my house didn't get robbed or whatever, but a very similar form. A more… _I-was-walking-down-the-street-then-I-was-w-t-f-ganked-out-of-nowhere_.

Passing a _dark_ corner, a hand grabbed me from behind. It pulled me, and I fell flat on my ass. My vision blurred, but I could see at least see the body of the person who pulled me down and what seems to be an accomplice before my vision blackens.

Ugh, I'm sounding like an old man right now, telling with so little emotion. But let me tell you, this very moment, right now, changed my life completely (and oh how I wish it never happened):

"YOUR NAZIS MAN!"

Waking up, I found my arms behind the back of a wooden chair, and my feet bound to the legs of it. Tied up in a very uncomfortably hard knot. This is not good for the blood flow. I struggled, jumped, tugged, pulled, did everything, but to no prevail. So, I continued with just shouting; hopefully someone will hear me.

"YOUR ALL FREAKING NAZIS!"

The callings gave me a very hard slap to the face. Ouch! It was really hard. Though, I was able to endure the pain. My dad always said I took my physical endurance and capabilities from my mother. My dad doesn't look frail, but my mom definitely overpowers him when it comes to brute strength.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ORGANIZATION!?"

"Organiz-?"

"WHAT ABOUT THE INTEGRATED DATA?"

"…wha-"

"DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID OR SOME-!?"

"Stop it!"

The calling was from a man. It could be a man… His voice is pretty deep. Though, it had a very familiar tone to it.

"He doesn't know, _yet_."

What the hell don't I know yet?

"Sorry…"

Now that the shoutings weren't full body tackling themselves onto my ear dream, I could get a clear shot of my interrogator's voice. It was actually quite melodic, it was sharp, it was a girl's voice.

The room was pitch black, the only light being a very dim, sort of an orange color, that hung just above my head. It was sort of a scene where two cops interrogate the suspect. And how clichéd it was.

The man wrapped his arm around me neck and put his lips near my ear.

"Tomorrow,"

He said in a low hush.

"Your dad will get another phone call. Listen to it on the other line."

I paused for a moment as he pulled away.

"Why?"

"..."

"Why did you kidnap me?"

"..."

"Are you deaf?"

"..."

"What if I don't comply? What If I'm asleep or something when that dumb phone call does happen?"

The way the atmosphere got hotter, I knew he was close again.

"Oh trust me, I'll know. I _will_."

And with that, I was thrown out of what seemed to be an abandoned storage or warehouse. It was fairly close to the dark ally where I was kidnapped, so I'm not surprised that no one saw an unconscious body being carried around in the streets.

"Bitch…"

I grabbed my right shoulder as it was the first thing to hit the pavement. Sitting in an upright position, I turned to face the wide open door where my 'napper' stood.

"Psh, you'll thank me."

He retaliates before doing a sinister grin and shutting the door.

Should I run like hell home? Should I go up to the nearest person and tell him that there's two criminals inside an abandoned storage? Should I just scream my ass off right now? Or should I dial 911?

The following suggestions were never acted upon. Actually, during this time, I never actually gave thought about any of those ideas.

I wanted to see.

Scrambling back on my feet, I rushed over at the brown-battered ware/abandoned house. Swiftly twisting the knob and opening the door, I scanned the premises.

The orange-dimmed light bulb, the rusted blue chair, the newly brought rope that bounded my limbs, even the atmosphere of my yelling still lingered; it was there, all of it.

"How the hell…"

The dim light struggled to stay alive, but failed miserably as it blacked out. It left the room dark, depressing and empty just like it should be: a warehouse.

They were gone. Both of them. I don't know how, I don't know when, but all I know is that I am the only living thing in this building (save a few rats and those stupid bugs that flew around what was a lit light bulb). Slicking my ear long bangs to the top of my hair with my hand, I found myself shaking my head in awe.

"That person…"

I turned around and headed towards the exit. There's nothing for me here.

"…Looked exactly like me."

After getting a good quarter mile walk towards home, I prompted to check my phone.

_12 missed calls_

Awesome. And they were all from my mom.

Mom…

OH SHIT! WHAT TIME IS IT!?

Stuffing my cell phone back into my pocket, I made the long run home. God, why does my home have to be so far away?

"Oh… I'm so dead. So fucking dead."

I mumbled as the hinges of my front door opened. Finding my mother standing in the doorway with her hands crossed and her foot tapping on the ground. Was she waiting all night for me? That's a bit extreme mom, and you know it.

If I looked past my mother's head, I could see through a rectangle hole in the kitchen that my father was at the dining table flipping away at a newspaper. How old school. Though, my observative eyes were short lived as my mother let out a ear banging yell.

"AKI WHERE WERE YOU!?"

Crap…

"Uh… out?"

"I distinctly remember telling you to come home before 8!"

"Yeah I know, but-"

"NO BUTS YOUNG MAN!"

"Wait mom! Remember, I'm not in middle school anymore!"

"Don't try and turn this around young man! When I was at your age, I didn't do such strange things!"

I could hear a very large grunting sound coming from my father. Quite frankly, it was more of that coughing-grunt you do when you hear the ultimate amount of bullshit.

"You sure mom?"

"YES!"

My dad's grunt turned into a ridiculous chuckle. I really have wonder what's going through his mind right now?

"Without you, your father couldn't cook anything!"

Did I mention my mom is a complete schmuck when it comes to feeding our mouths?

"What do you mean, 'without me' ?"

"The groceries Aki, remember?"

"Grocery store?"

Confusion riled up into both my thoughts and expression.

"Yeah, the tuna, bread and the honey."

"Ah…"

My thoughts froze. My mouth opened with only open air slowly filling in. My eyes varying little to my air filled mouth. Realizing that my hands were without plastic bags, I completely stopped, and the world must have done the same.

**xXx**

As the kidnapped man said, my father got a phone call. I picked up the other end, and attempted another eavesdrop. If I could go back in time, I would barge in this very moment, and beat the crap out of myself.

"Hello."

My dad said calmly. I covered up my the bottom end of the phone, trying to cover up my breathing.

_"Good morning Kyon, how are you?"_

"Cut to the chase. Why'd you call?"

A small chuckle was heard on the other end of the party.

_"Miss Asahina is back."_

* * *

_**A/N:** Ugh, this chapter blows._

_I couldn't find a decent way to end this chapter, so I went with a cliffhanger._

_When I thought back to the light novels, I distincly remember Haruhi never having a bento at school (or Kyon has yet to make a comment about it), or cooking at any time. Therefore, I assumed she just was a bad cook_

_And so my readers don't get confused, the 3rd person stories in between Aki's explanation and Kyon's thoughts are merely flashbacks. Aki's explanation and Kyon's thoughts remain unkown, but I'm pretty sure you can use common sense to infer what was said._


End file.
